13 Days to complete 2 years of marriage saga and 30 Days to complete 3years of being raazi – it feels like yesterday? Yes, to come think of in terms of dates and events – the big days, the celebrations – it does feel like yesterday. Coming to think of in terms of building the relationship – the bond of trust and love and respect – the bond that shares and speaks even when silent – it doesn’t feel yesterday. It is definitely some amount of effort that will punch you in the stomach, drain your energy but then be all worthwhile.
No it is not easy. It is not going to be easy. Two very different people coming from two very different worlds come together to stay with each other forever. Forever is easy, First steps are not. Besides sharing the physical space, two people start sharing the mind space of each other. The moment you leave for work to the moment you come back to home – you are going to face each other every time 24×7.
How do you live, what time you would love to get up, what would you love to do when doing nothing? Eating out – which cuisine? Drinking – Whiskey or Wine, chuck – first yes or no? Movies – which genre? Eating at home – prefer cooking or not (either of them). And to the private intimate moments – when do you want to cuddle and make love to understanding what times you only want to stop at cuddling. Does all of this comes from Love?
Many of us would say an emphatic Yes. But i do not think the same way. I believe when two people start living and sharing their lives with each other, by basic human instinct they develop love and affection and concern for each other. But what do you really need to have is respect for each other. That is what gets you going.
Marriage is such an institution or lets say we have interpreted or consumed the definition of marriage in all those growing-up years in such a fashion where we start to believe that taking each other for guaranteed is absolutely fine. But when you start living that life on your own – you understand that that’s not the case. More importantly, that is an effect of the relationship or the camaraderie or the bond that is developed over the years. What is considered to be taken for guaranteed has a whole lot of history behind that.
It starts with one small step of being together and takes a leap of respect to maintain that forever. It is important to respect each other’s value system. Respect the likes and dislikes. It is important that you respect and value the time of each other. It is important to understand what interests them and what doesn’t. What makes them feel happy and what makes them feel not so good. Goes without saying that both understand the priorities of each other.
And all of this comes only when you respect each other as a partner and as a human being. And when you respect each other, you start falling in love with them, with their presence, with the very fact that they are present with you every moment.
But this is not that easy. For a few it comes fast and for a few it might take some time. But trust me, the moment we start respecting our partners in all possible ways, that is the moment when you sow seeds of love that will fructify forever and harvest till eternity. Well I am completing my 2 years of marriage and it’s time to celebrate that bond of love and fondness and as I say more importantly the bond of that respect. all giggles.
To all couples out there, wish you a blissful married life that is abundant with love and respect for each other!