Love Archives - Thebuswindow

Love or Respect?

Karanvir Gupta — Sat, 13 Oct 2018 15:05:00 +0000

13 Days to complete 2 years of marriage saga and 30 Days to complete 3years of being raazi – it feels like yesterday? Yes, to come think of in terms of dates and events – the big days, the celebrations – it does feel like yesterday. Coming to think of in terms of building the relationship – the bond of trust and love and respect – the bond that shares and speaks even when silent – it doesn’t feel yesterday. It is definitely some amount of effort that will punch you in the stomach, drain your energy but then be all worthwhile.

No it is not easy. It is not going to be easy. Two very different people coming from two very different worlds come together to stay with each other forever. Forever is easy, First steps are not. Besides sharing the physical space, two people start sharing the mind space of each other. The moment you leave for work to the moment you come back to home – you are going to face each other every time 24×7.

How do you live, what time you would love to get up, what would you love to do when doing nothing? Eating out – which cuisine? Drinking – Whiskey or Wine, chuck – first yes or no? Movies – which genre? Eating at home – prefer cooking or not (either of them). And to the private intimate moments – when do you want to cuddle and make love to understanding what times you only want to stop at cuddling. Does all of this comes from Love?

Many of us would say an emphatic Yes. But i do not think the same way. I believe when two people start living and sharing their lives with each other, by basic human instinct they develop love and affection and concern for each other. But what do you really need to have is respect for each other. That is what gets you going.

Marriage is such an institution or lets say we have interpreted or consumed the definition of marriage in all those growing-up years in such a fashion where we start to believe that taking each other for guaranteed is absolutely fine. But when you start living that life on your own – you understand that that’s not the case. More importantly, that is an effect of the relationship or the camaraderie or the bond that is developed over the years. What is considered to be taken for guaranteed has a whole lot of history behind that.

It starts with one small step of being together and takes a leap of respect to maintain that forever. It is important to respect each other’s value system. Respect the likes and dislikes. It is important that you respect and value the time of each other. It is important to understand what interests them and what doesn’t. What makes them feel happy and what makes them feel not so good. Goes without saying that both understand the priorities of each other.

And all of this comes only when you respect each other as a partner and as a human being. And when you respect each other, you start falling in love with them, with their presence, with the very fact that they are present with you every moment.

But this is not that easy. For a few it comes fast and for a few it might take some time. But trust me, the moment we start respecting our partners in all possible ways, that is the moment when you sow seeds of love that will fructify forever and harvest till eternity. Well I am completing my 2 years of marriage and it’s time to celebrate that bond of love and fondness and as I say more importantly the bond of that respect. all giggles.

To all couples out there, wish you a blissful married life that is abundant with love and respect for each other!

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Ravana ko maarna baad mein, pehle dhoond to lo

Karanvir Gupta — Sun, 08 Oct 2017 07:47:00 +0000

Ravana ko maarna baad mein, pehle dhoond to lo

The first step towards killing the Ravana is tough. But the zeroth step towards the same is tougher – Finding the Ravana.

Yeh kalyug hai, itna bhi mushkil nahi hona chahiye Ravana ko dhoondna (it shouldn’t be that tough to find Ravana)

But where do you start – Ravana after all is not going to be 10 headed monster anymore. It is just like you and me masked in the human form with a wicked hint to their personality (shrewdness or smartness you may call it or they proclaim so)

Ravana – I tell you – sits in your home, sits at your workplaces, may be is sitting next to you, or even nearer (or maybe within you).

No, this time I am not going to tell you – that kill the Ravana inside you or filter the good from the bad. Good vs Bad is subjective and the so called intelligence seems to have blur the lines. After all somebody’s good “has” to be at the cost of someone else’s “bad”. Fair Deal, Isn’t it?

Recently I came across people who are good, respected in society but what is not right is ‘their silence’ over matters that should really concern them. Their silence because of the family pressures and de-facto stand they should take irrespective of them being aware of what is right and what is wrong.

Giving in to these pressures is what is makes them as much Ravana as the real one. I used to believe The silence of the Good is as evil as the evil itself. But now I swear by it.

If you find your boss bullying you or any other colleague taking undue advantage of you, stand up and raise the concern. You discuss or debate but you have to point out and sort that out. Character Assassination, Blame Game and Being Belligerent is easy, tough is to stand up against the wrong.

If you have family members who are irrational and vengeful, induce negativity around and non-responsive to warmth – shake them up; show them some light. May be their soul needs more nourishment than rest. Give them that love and warmth. Make them believe in the power of relationships, love and warmth.

At the end if you find yourself giving into the wordly pursuits and the rat-race; shake yourself too, shake off the dirt, lift above from the ground – tell yourself that there is more to what you are getting into.

Trust me your conscience knows when are you indulging in the wrong deed. Stop. Prevent. Correct! It is never too late.

But all this can be done only and only when you have been able to practice The Step One. Love and Karma are answer to each of your soul stirring questions. But this time (this yug) – let the good not fall silent. Spread goodness. Spread awesomeness. That is what you are meant for. That is what we are meant for.

Mysore Palace (Amba Villas Palace)

This year, I spent my Dussehra at the world-famous Mysore where the goddess killed the Mahisashuru (from where it is derive the word called Mysore). It was crowded and there must been many Ravanas roaming around but at the same time it was lit-up even more so that Ravanas can be spotted with ease. Amidst so much randomness, all that caught my attention was strict order and amazing hospitality that could manage a celebration of such a huge scale. (if you read in between the lines only Love (the hospitality) and karma (maintaining order) could make this feat possible).

Spot the Ravana! And Stand Up against Ravana – Because that would ned more courage than to kill Ravana!

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Zindagi is not so Dear after all!

Karanvir Gupta — Fri, 02 Dec 2016 07:26:00 +0000

The lines ring hard in my ears “Jab gusse ko express nahi karne diya, dard ko express nahi karne diya toh ab pyaar ko kaise express karenge”.

I can’t thank Gauri Shinde enough for bringing this phase of mental trauma, that each one of us goes through at one point of time in life, so beautifully on the screen.

And irrespective of number of friends we have, or how much pampered we are at home; nothing of this helps much. Because if people can’t understand you, they can’t. You can’t shove down their throats how do you feel at that very particular moment.

Interestingly whenever such a production is released, we go all the way out to applaud the actors who bring such emotions brilliantly on screen, cinematographers who keep those special shots to enhance the effect, scriptwriter for choosing the words we can connect with, etc.

One thing we forget is that the labyrinth there is the labyrinth inside us. All that is a projection of how we are as a society. And after watching Dear Zindagi, I didn’t feel so good about it but that’s the reality.

Spectacles, Braces, Soft-spoken boys, dark skinned, not into sports boy, short height, stammers n stutters are quite the reasons of shame in our society. Something you can be trolled for quite long until you succumb to those bullying shouts or else you give up. Unfortunately many of us give up or become so oblivion to the reality that we withdraw from the lives. The spirit of living is gone because we start believing that we are a misfit in this society.

a Smile, a Hug, Few moments, or Just asking is enough to fill us with warmth…and make it a Dear Zindagi for us!

And the same thing happens when we grow up; only when we were getting over our past’s so-called “imperfections”, we face these ‘yet-a-virgin?’ questions, not-in-a-relationship yet race, or awful heartbreaks; all of this which might be too close to us or affects us much.

Sad, actually very sad that while we should be coping up with the pain we are going through in our lives, we are even more busy responding the useless questions that come along with these.

As it is said, that we are in a constant lookout for opportunities to pull others down. And trust me, all of this happens in our society. Then there seems to be no reason to even call it a Dear Zindagi. It is or it becomes Zindagi, Go to Hell.

All this multiplies over the time when we get married, have children, sometimes money or sometimes family issues. Because our past brings with us our insecurities and then we start connecting everything. We feel unsafe, we feel depressed and we feel a loser!

The cycle goes on and on and on. We become oblivion to what’s happening around and how are people feeling around us. We are not “trained” enough to make people feel comfortable around us. We are taught to be comfortable ourselves. We are told that being sensitive is bad (or not so good). Because the world is so cruel, we are supposed to be thick skinned and that my dear friends is causing all the trouble.

This is the reason Kairas or for that matter Kabirs happen.

I believe we as a society really need to be sensitive towards each other. Share a smile and spread the joy. Sometimes discuss it and sometimes just vent it out. Let it go, according to me, doesn’t help.

You might not want to read this whole piece but you might watch this 3:55 video by livelovelaugh foundation.

Mother-Son or Father-Daughter, Bhai-Bhai or Bhai-Behen, Sutta friends or over the coffee friends, walk friends or just water cooler friends; we can share what’s held up inside them or us. Let us make it a beautiful life for everyone, let us make an attempt that everybody shouts it out Dear Zindagi.

Because troubles shall keep coming and going, but the feeling of having someone you can share things with is what makes Zindagi so dear!

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I Shall be with you….forever….unquestioned!

Karanvir Gupta — Sat, 18 Oct 2014 20:16:00 +0000

for my friends and foes(if any) should know this, you can’t stop me from loving you and smiling forever coz extrovert you may know me as yet as an introvert I shall never question your deeds and stick to #myactofLOVE

I just wish I was the grass, firm to the ground

Scrambled, rumbled by thousands who walk over

Dead it shall be to just grow again

Keeping the silence after suffering all the pain

I just wish I was the tree, spreading the shade around

Knocked, punched and engraved by thousand passers

Standing smiling for happiness quotient they deliver

Non-chalant, unquestioning for whenever they quiver

I just wish I was the rain, falling incessant on the souls

The happy, they danced; the distorted, they sobbed

Friend of all, I shall just acclimatize to how they feel

All they shall remember would be moments, if they ever wish to play the reel

Beautiful it would have been if I were the sky

Spanning across the visions, staying there to never end

Under whose roof people shall live their life through

I shall exist, though my existence shall always be questioned

…..Because friends are important and not their mistakes, I have learnt it hard way and that is why I shall never give them back on their face but leave a b’ful memory with them and etch an impression in their hearts 🙂

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