Love or Respect?

Karanvir Gupta — Sat, 13 Oct 2018 15:05:00 +0000

13 Days to complete 2 years of marriage saga and 30 Days to complete 3years of being raazi – it feels like yesterday? Yes, to come think of in terms of dates and events – the big days, the celebrations – it does feel like yesterday. Coming to think of in terms of building the relationship – the bond of trust and love and respect – the bond that shares and speaks even when silent – it doesn’t feel yesterday. It is definitely some amount of effort that will punch you in the stomach, drain your energy but then be all worthwhile.

No it is not easy. It is not going to be easy. Two very different people coming from two very different worlds come together to stay with each other forever. Forever is easy, First steps are not. Besides sharing the physical space, two people start sharing the mind space of each other. The moment you leave for work to the moment you come back to home – you are going to face each other every time 24×7.

How do you live, what time you would love to get up, what would you love to do when doing nothing? Eating out – which cuisine? Drinking – Whiskey or Wine, chuck – first yes or no? Movies – which genre? Eating at home – prefer cooking or not (either of them). And to the private intimate moments – when do you want to cuddle and make love to understanding what times you only want to stop at cuddling. Does all of this comes from Love?

Many of us would say an emphatic Yes. But i do not think the same way. I believe when two people start living and sharing their lives with each other, by basic human instinct they develop love and affection and concern for each other. But what do you really need to have is respect for each other. That is what gets you going.

Marriage is such an institution or lets say we have interpreted or consumed the definition of marriage in all those growing-up years in such a fashion where we start to believe that taking each other for guaranteed is absolutely fine. But when you start living that life on your own – you understand that that’s not the case. More importantly, that is an effect of the relationship or the camaraderie or the bond that is developed over the years. What is considered to be taken for guaranteed has a whole lot of history behind that.

It starts with one small step of being together and takes a leap of respect to maintain that forever. It is important to respect each other’s value system. Respect the likes and dislikes. It is important that you respect and value the time of each other. It is important to understand what interests them and what doesn’t. What makes them feel happy and what makes them feel not so good. Goes without saying that both understand the priorities of each other.

And all of this comes only when you respect each other as a partner and as a human being. And when you respect each other, you start falling in love with them, with their presence, with the very fact that they are present with you every moment.

But this is not that easy. For a few it comes fast and for a few it might take some time. But trust me, the moment we start respecting our partners in all possible ways, that is the moment when you sow seeds of love that will fructify forever and harvest till eternity. Well I am completing my 2 years of marriage and it’s time to celebrate that bond of love and fondness and as I say more importantly the bond of that respect. all giggles.

To all couples out there, wish you a blissful married life that is abundant with love and respect for each other!

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Not sure, which Mumbai I fell in love with more!

Karanvir Gupta — Sun, 09 Sep 2018 06:09:00 +0000

It was peak afternoon around 2:30PM. The sun was not that bright and clouds were neither too heavy on the city. But with no idea of traffic on the roads and the uncertainty with which it rains in the city, I was rushing to the airport to catch my flight at 5:00PM from Mumbai to Bangalore. My train of thoughts about the last 2 days spent in Mumbai was in total sync with the ride of the cab – a little smooth and a little bumpy. But that is how infact the entire city seemed to me – split into two parallel worlds.

From Andheri to Marine Drive via Juhu – Chembur – Worli Sea Link, I walked down the aisle of the city. And en-route I saw and witnessed the city that I had only heard and scene in the movies. Some roads just busy with cars but not jammed at all. The traffic kept moving. We just stepped out of the cab and it started raining and in a whiz of opening the umbrella it stopped. To match to the weather – unpredictable and irrational – a cup of Chai was enough to soothe everything. I don’t know but I was so much in awe of the city called Mumbai that I couldn’t keep my eyes off any movement or not being distracted with any activity that was happening around.

That feeling that you are here for the first and the last time absorbed me and left me devoid of my restfulness. May be I wanted to absorb the most of what I could. May be everyone who comes is equally wanting to know everything about the city in a go, which the city wont spell. From the posh cafe to incorrigible dirty Juhu beach – I wondered which was the Mumbai I preferred more. Looked like an oil tanker got spilled just moments before I reached there. But those 30minutes on the beach amidst the couples sneakingly making love to each other was the best time I spent in the two days. Listening to some of the amazing songs while strolling on the beach made me feel liberated as never before. Each moment left in me a thought of what if life was always so free and uncaged.

You fail to understand who copes with whom – is it the city trying to catch up with people’s pace or people trying to catch up with the city’s. Dirty, Extremely Dirty is what comes to my mind when I think of the entire city. It literally looked as if everybody has thrown the garbage of their homes on the roads or may be I was there in the city at the wrong time. And when you talk to people, you wished the humanity was always like this city. So much so dirty at the outlook but beautiful deep inside. Each person I talked to from the Chaiwala thela bhaiya to Archies wale Uncle to 3-4 cab drivers – all of them were storytellers. They had a story that seemed too rehearsed to be true or too filmy if I may call so. But each person had me involved in a heartfelt conversation.

Sometimes you wonder – the mystic a place has to it. Mumbai is like that. As hopeless as it seems when you see so many people struggling hard to make their ends meet and as hopeful as it could be when you hear their narrations of never ending hope they carry with themselves. You are forced to think if its the city that has grown thick skin or the people who are naive in their world of dreams and hopes. You look at the city once and it is like a house of cards ready to fall with a blow of wind. And another moment – sturdy as hell for any storm to bring it down. This, this magic that Mumbai has of being extremely affable and detestable at the same time is nerve-wracking.

Its ability to make a visitor like me to feel at home and many belonging to the place feel homeless, the city for sure lives in contradictions. It catches onto you like the hum of a beautiful song which you want to hum every moment until and unless you find just another muse. That was Mumbai for me.

From always being confused in differentiating the Gateway of India from India gate in the chart of Historical Monuments during childhood, now finally I will never get it wrong. I literally went and touched and felt how it was to feel the stones of Gateway of India – a monument that I had only known from books. To see the Taj that is just a scene on the screen like a distant dream – sitting in Leopold Cafe and just eating without letting my mind wander about any thoughts – it could not get more candid than this.

After 2 days of detesting Mumbai like anything for being so dirty and so cramped – I am not sure which Mumbai I fell in love with more. The one that is so full of chaos and keeps people on the tenterhooks or the one that keeps everyone so protected and close to itself. Mumbai, it’s not a city, it’s an emotion. You don’t live in it, the city lives in you!

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Love or Respect?

Not sure, which Mumbai I fell in love with more!