Who will fill their cup of love?

Karanvir — Sat, 14 Dec 2019 03:32:20 +0000

It is amazing that how we need love and attention during all phases of life. While we are a kid, there is no lap that we have not been into. Someone or the other is always busy engaging us, damn every single time we go cranky. A single cry can gather the entire family around us. As we grow into teens and twenties, we end up finding our kind of madness. Hormones don’t let us be alone (sometimes yes). But there is always this fulfilment of kind of attention and love we are craving for. And then life happens!

Interestingly this attention and love is found missing while we grow old – like old to the stage where our kids have found their families and career to pursue. In the last few months, it so happened that I ended up spending time with quite a few elders (some couples, some single partners) – seemingly happy, full of energy and enthusiastic about life but hold the conversation for 15 minutes and you will see a world that is reeking of ‘loneliness’!

All household chores done! All socialising done! So, yes life is happening at its own pace for these oldies too. But trace them back to their homes and you will find a deafening silence that can only rip your heart apart. I will not hesitate to admit that I witness the same thing at my home as well.

What is surprising is – when we (the kids and the larger family) are back home – our parents get 50% rescued from all kinds of illness. They are eating healthy, sleeping on time, engaging in regular and varied conversations. There is an unbeatable zeal to pursue life. ‘Akelapan’ finds it way out of the home. There are no sully evenings or dreary nights when untoward thoughts keep them engaged and surrounded.

I have seen this first hand and I can’t be more depressed about all of this. I will never be able to forget an evening when I went to meet my uncle who stays with his wife (kids settled abroad) and for all the time we were there, he could not stop talking and keeping us engaged. While I had gone to spend some 30minutes with him, I could not help but ending up spending the entire evening with him.

Why? Why is it so that when our parents need the most of our love and affection – we find ourselves tied to our “chores and career” but when it was our turn to receive all the love and affection – they stood by us relentlessly. My parents say that this is the chakra of life! I am not sure they do really mean it or that these are their consoling words to prevent me from any guilt!

There is a Dogri phrase that goes like this आपु गुड़ खादा होये ते दुज्जे की कियाँ मना करना (If you are in a sugar spree, how will you advise others not to taste it). What I mean is I am not sure if I can advise or suggest anyone to just leave your cushy jobs, hefty pay-checks, pack your bags and go back home! But all I can say is we can definitely be more engaging with our parents and elders of our family, a little more cognizant of what’s happening in their lives (lest we are caught by surprise someday), talk to them daily (I hope I am not asking for more) and just make them very much a part of our routine! It might not be the easiest thing to do but surely not impossible.

After all, we all need Our cup of love to be filled! The question is can we fill our elders’ cup of love?

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The Power of Time

Karanvir Gupta — Fri, 28 Dec 2018 07:46:00 +0000

I think that is the power of Turning 30 – you gain multiple perspective about similar things. With a few you rebel – contemplate and think through while with the most of the rest – you make peace. And few months before I actually turn 30, I have reinforced my belief in the power and enigma of Time. I have always been a believer in the same but a few days back I chanced upon this Hindi movie Mausam (starring Shahid Kapoor and Sonam). (Yes, you can go ahead and judge me for that. :D) And it brought back the cascade effect of how powerful Time is!

It ebbs and flows and so seamlessly. It moves on at a pace much faster than you even realise. While you are going through ups and downs of life, life stretching you apart, tearing your dreams, building the new ones – plotting a whole new construct for you – Life happens and Time just moves its own pace. In all its aplomb saying “To each its own!”.

What we are always pondering upon is situations (circumstances), people, things, past, or future to say the least. But one element we remain indifferent towards is – TIME. May be because to us – that is the only component which remains undeterred, keeps making its moves and seems constant while it is not. It watches us and laughs at us over our hysteria about Life. We run hither-thither wondering what to do! But Time – it captures in itself the essence of all that is quintessential. It is like a river that keeps flowing incessantly and takes along what comes its way. All you need to do is go with the flow!

When you watch this movie, you wonder how it moves from era to era making people meet, part ways – find joys and sorrows on the way. There are scenes having individuals alive, talking and post few years their photograph hung over a wall with a garland around it (depicting they are dead). The aslant movement from the first scene in 1988 to the one in 2002 spanning across and highlighting Punjab riots of 84, and Kashmir genocide in 89 and WTC attack in 2001 and riots in 2002. And then there are instances where you find people coming in and out of lives of each other to just be there at the moment and be their refuge and then move on. There are scenes which highlight the SONDER more than the protagonists.

Isn’t that how it works for all of us? It does! Isn’t that how life always is? It is!

Top L-R: Amer Fort, Paintings in Amer Fort
Bottom L-R: Raja-Rani Temple in Bhubaneshwar, Gateway of India
All these images reflect an era – and we become witness to what survived the
the wave of time. There must be something magical about these that they
tend to define time because otherwise – Time defines itself
and we are just a passe!

Sometimes we take the centre stage and sometimes we are the backdrop. In the larger schema of things, eras are defined by something that is awfully terrible or something that has changed the course of history. (positive or negative) And we – we remain the unknown characters in this larger schema but in our own life – we are the heroes! I fall in love with this concoction of where we are everything and where we are nothing at the same time. And this – this makes me fall in love with this concept and power of time and the switching of our roles all over again.

That movie is so purely a reflection of how our lives move and intertwine seamlessly from months to months and years to years. The way time gives your hard times to how it heals you, how it fades away certain parts of memory and yet has the power to bring them alive at its own will. The way it challenges you with your courage and determination and then itself gives you a way too. It tests you, it hits you, it stumps you and the very next moment it helps you, it prevents you and protects you and then blesses you! It spins its magic and we are enthralled.

This is real. This is bliss. And I love to reside in the arms of this euphoria called Time! To put it plain, that’s life! With every passing year, I wish to be more conscious of the time I am living now and believe in the power of present because that is the only ounce of time that I can interact with!

With this I wish you all a very Happy New Year!

Love

The Seeker

looking forward to Welcome 2019

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Who will fill their cup of love?

The Power of Time